The "After College" Years

So I eventually graduated college one spring, got a job, and moved into a new apartment. I was never really taught how to cook growing up, and it definitely wasn't a skill learned during my college years. I knew the basics of how to boil water and read how much time a frozen dinner had to be microwaved for, but that was pretty much it. I figured that since I work in the health field, I wanted to be the image of health, which (to me) meant being fit and thin. I wasn't really sure how to go about this mission, especially since one of the ladies I worked with would often bake DELICIOUS cakes throughout the week and leave them in the employee lounge. Then after work, I'd be famished from trying to eat minimally at breakfast and lunch, so I'd often drive to the nearest "fast food" type place (ie Qdoba, Jimmy Johns, Chipotle, Panera, etc). Was I telling lies when I said I never ate fast food because the places I went to didn't have a drive-thru? Hmm...

Well, summer came around, and I was feeling pretty bored with my lackluster life. I wasn't sure how to handle all the time on my hands after graduating since I no longer had professional fraternity and social sorority meetings, in addition to all the other clubs and organizations and volunteer work I did as a collegiate. Sure, I had friends and a social life, but it's not like we saw each other every day anymore since we no longer had classes together or lived only a 2 minute walk away from each other. Shopping became an expensive habit. So, I joined a gym near my apartment complex. I was too embarrassed and shy to try to use the weight machines, and I hated treadmills and stair steppers, which means I only used the elliptical (and sometimes the bike). Obviously, doing that for a few months ends up being quite repetitive and BORING. I also came down with a horrible case of bronchitis that fall, and I was left with an awful cough that refused to go away. Do you think I went to the gym while having trouble breathing and feeling sick and tired and coughing 24/7? Uh, that's a big fat NO. So I stopped going to the gym and gave up.

Fast forward a year. A friend and I made plans to go on a cruise. She was way thinner than me and was one of those people I thought was crazy for actually LIKING to work out and go running. I refused to be seen in a bikini next to her unless I had a total body transformation (we even made jokes about wearing modest swimwear in the likes of this: http://www.modestswimwearsolutions.com/swimsuitpictures.htm). Through her co-worker, I was introduced to the idea of a Shakeology cleanse (which we thought would be a great idea to help us lose those last couple pounds and feel confident while sipping drinks poolside). This was my first exposure to a company called Beachbody.

Being the Google-Freak that I am, I immediately went online to learn all that I could about this Shakeology and Beachbody company (Did I want a body that was ready for the beach? Heck yes!). I liked that they were home workout programs and figured that would be ideal for me. I wouldn't be self-conscious about getting all gross and sweaty because I was in the privacy of my own home. I wouldn't care if I couldn't complete the workout or had trouble with moves because there was nobody else to judge me or compete with me. Plus, the Slim in 6 program I purchased promised a great body in only six weeks! (The cruise was about 8 weeks from that point). It was perfect timing!

I completed the program, and I definitely saw a change in my body (was that almost a six-pack shining through?). Unfortunately, as per usual, I didn't work on my diet as much as I worked on my body. So while I saw results, they weren't as dramatic as they could have been had I followed the included diet with the program. But hey, I figured any improvement was better than nothing, so I took it.

After the cruise, there was nothing worth trying to maintain my new body over, so I gave up (again) and stopped working out. I just didn't see the point in getting all sweaty and pushing my body if there wasn't a a superficial reason behind it. Plus, by then it was fall/winter and that means layers and baggier clothes to cover up my wobbly bits. Bad logic? Of course.

Obviously, by this point, I was in a cycle rut. I assumed this would be my unwanted future. Luckily, little did I know, there would be a "Revelation" coming my way :)

First post (Eeks!) Part II

My downfall happened in college. I stopped "working out" (aka gymnastics practices), discovered beer and vodka, and believed that eating late night pizza and Jimmy Johns was my hard-earned right as a college student. Needless to say, over time, I noticed my pants seemed more snug. So instead of re-evaluating my eating habits for more than a split second here or there, I simply bought pants in a bigger size (besides, my HS pants had "shrunk" from those darn dorm laundry machines!). I figured maybe a few extra pounds wasn't such a bad thing, and maybe I was too thin in high school. Or maybe the brands of clothes I was buying simply ran small. The excuses kept rolling in...

So what would happen is this:
I'd eventually get sick of feeling flabby and heavier than I wanted, and I'd start getting obsessive about what I ate. I never really tried to exercise because having fellow classmates see me covered in sweat didn't really seem like a great way to make friends. I bought a couple beginner workout dvds but would very rarely use them. I was embarrassed and didn't want my roommates to see me working out. At the time, I thought only middle aged women in leg warmers and bad perms did home exercise programs. I might lose a couple pounds, but I'd eventually get sick of my "diet" and return to my normal eating and drinking habits.

What's ridiculous is that I truly thought that people who worked out and who weren't on a sports team were either A) crazy, B) superficial and vain, C) had an eating disorder, D) obese and therefore belong in a gym. I didn't want to be considered any of those things, so I never went to the gym (and I was NEVER a runner, so the idea of running outside for fun seemed truly crazy). Luckily, I wasn't ever obese, but I wasn't someone who would be considered "skinny." I prided myself on being able to eat/drink what I wanted, when I wanted, and still be "average." Obviously, this mindset is pure idiocy.

So my weight cycled, a lot. My food intake cycled, a lot. My activity level stayed fairly constant. After I hit my highest weight, I did a diet program where I meticulously calculated and counted every bite that went into my mouth, I stopped eating out with friends, and gave up alcohol completely. I remember my family being shocked when I refused a glass of wine at dinner once. Focusing on diet alone helped me lose about 17 lbs in 2-3 months. Wow! This just further ingrained my belief that people in the gym were crazy. I felt so good about myself, but then it was holiday season and I slipped back into my old habits and gained some of that weight back because the way I followed the diet program was not sustainable or flexible enough for "real life." I felt like I was just destined to hate my body.

Luckily, this destined feeling didn't last forever. But more about that later... :)

First post (Eeks!) Part I

Hello! My name is Kimberly, but friends call me Kimmie (or Kim). Nice to meet you. :)

Well, now that we've gotten those awkward introductions out of the way, let's delve into my first blog post. Shall we? Let me also say that at the moment, I am not what one would exactly consider "fit," but I can be considered fun, and am sometimes quite fabulous.

So a little background on me...

The early years:
I grew up in the lovely Chicago suburbs. Pretty standard household: older sister, younger brother, housewife mom, and businessman dad, and various pets throughout the years. I was the stereotypical "middle child." I never understood why my older and "sophisticated" sister was allowed to wear pantyhose and received jewelry for birthdays, while I was stuck wearing childish tights and got a doll that peed into a diaper if you gave it a "bottle." I was also highly jealous of my younger brother who ALWAYS got his way and enjoyed blaming me for things that I didn't do.

When I was 7, I decided that I wanted to be a famous gymnast when I grew up. This was probably because the summer Olympics had just ended, and I idolized the women that were able to jump, twist, flip, and leap so gracefully and effortlessly. Shannon Miller was my hero. This dream was the start of an 11 year journey that consisted of injuries, amazing friendships, great triumphs, depressing downfalls, and plenty of lessons that included more than how to do a standing back on the beam, giants on bars, a full-and-a-half on the floor, or a handspring on the vault. I learned how to push through fear, how to keep going with an injury, how to be a teammate and a leader, the value of persistence and repetition. I learned that perfection, while desirable in gymnastics, wasn't always attainable. These are still lessons that are part of my core, and I'm not sure if it's something I would have learned without those years spent in the gym.

Unfortunately, at that time, I didn't exactly learn how to appreciate my body. I took it for granted, abused it during practices, and never learned how to nourish it properly. And not to place blame on my family, but healthy cooking seemed to take a back seat to convenience. Sure, I learned about the (now outdated) food pyramid in class. I knew fruits and veggies were supposedly good for you. I tried not to eat too much food because I didn't want to look fat in a leotard, but I totally ate the wrong KINDS of food.  Pringles before bed, pizza and cake at parties, ramen noodles, pancakes, pasta parties, Milano cookies, pretzels with cheese, Ben and Jerry's, and Cheez-its are all foods I remember eating, a lot. I also never really listened when I was told that daily physical activity was vital, because duh, I was a gymnast. An athlete. I was in shape. I figured healthy eating and power walking was something I could figure out when I was old and wrinkly.

Suffice to say, I eventually realized that a healthy lifestyle was something that I would need to figure out BEFORE deep wrinkles set in...